Anger Management

Anger is an emotion that is quite healthy and normal when you recognise that your values are being violated. Anger can become an issue if you are unable to control your emotions. When you are aware it is an issue you will be able to change the habit, you have phenomenal coping skills – you just need to know that you have them! You can get a physical response as your anger builds your heart may race, you might notice your breathing change. There may be other triggers such as a clenched fist or tension in your body, especially the shoulders. When it’s an issue, anger can flare up without notice and through minimal triggers. If you are aware of your triggers you can manage this, and we can work together to address the past anger and move forward with the learnings you might have missed in the past.

Mindfulness

To minimise the anger, aim to count to 10 as soon as you notice the trigger(s) which helps your mind to calm down and allow you to think more rationally.

Breathing exercises

Breathe in for a count of 3, hold for 2 counts and then breathe out for 5 counts, holding for 2 counts before you start from the beginning again. During moments of anxiety, anger, and other heightened emotions you breathe in more than out – same for asthma attacks so aim to breathe in with these counts.

Where does exercise come into Anger Management?

Exercise such as walking, jogging, swimming, yoga/pilates and even meditation are some ways that can help reduce levels of immediate anger. Having a daily exercise routine can really help anger management triggers whilst calming and relaxing the body.

Relaxing for Anger Management

Are you relaxing regularly? How is your sleep? Drugs and alcohol can increase negative emotions such as anger, they lower inhibitions and that may cause you to find yourself in a situation you would not usually put yourself in.

Creativity and Anger Management

Creativity, whether it is painting, writing, learning a new language, or dancing; channelling your energy in some productive way can help relax the mind and engrosses you in the creativity.

Talking About Your Emotions Can Help

Speaking to a trusted friend or family member can be good to see your situation from a different perspective. This can help you think differently and be aware of other viewpoints. If you feel speaking to someone close to you may be a trigger or you don’t feel safe, there are a number of professionals with whom you can get help and discuss your issues.

Learn To Think Positive and Move Away From The Negative

Positive affirmations in the morning and reviewing your day and highlighting three positives at the end of the day will train your brain to be more positive, long term results can be found the more you do these activities which can be done during your normal morning and night-time routine.

Move away from negative terms, here are some which you can start working on now for anger management:

Always, for example, "You always do that"

Never; "You never listen to me"

should or should not; "You should do what I want," or "You shouldn't be on the roads"

must or must not; "I must be on time," or "I mustn't be late"

ought or ought not; "People ought to get out of my way"

not fair; “that’s not fair”

Domestic Violence and Anger

If uncontrolled anger leads to domestic violence (violence or threatening behaviour within the home), there are places that offer help and support. You can talk to your GP or contact domestic violence organisations online. 

Long-term Goals for Anger Management

Once you are able to recognise your triggers you are more than half-way there! Before you seek help, if you need to walk away from the situation to gather your thoughts and calm down, do that. There is a process that you can go through to remove past anger triggers and become more calmer and in control of your emotions.

Getting Help with Anger Management

A typical anger management programme may involve one-to-one counselling and working in a small group. The structure of the programmes can differ, depending on provider, most programmes include cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) and counselling. 

Alternative Anger Management Programmes

With NLP there is a better chance of not requiring a therapist long term. The sessions are typically 1 to 2 hours long and consist of an initial consultation where some tasking maybe set and you get to know your triggers, what makes you well, you and how that can be changed into a better version of you.