Self Development

A quick search online of the term ‘self development’ gets you billions of results in just under a second. The dictionary definition is “is taking steps to better yourself, such as by learning new skills or overcoming bad habits.” If we break that down, what does it actually mean? To me, it suggests it will take some time, effort, perseverance, and commitment from the one who wants to get from where they are now to where they want to be. 

There are many areas of self-development anger, sadness, fear, hurt, and guilt are just some of the ones I can help with.

Some of us are lucky enough to have a reliable, resilient, and rational support network however increasingly with almost everyone struggling with some issue(s) of self development there is not enough consistent support available from those we can trust. Self development coaches are becoming increasingly popular to help those who need it on a structured and short-term basis, there is a trust factor and no worries of how your friends and family will perceive you - they won’t know!

Today I will discuss self development, all of the areas mentioned above can be classed as self development. The reason I have listed them independently is that they are in their own right an area of development and self development is more than just the individual item listed. So, self development, first we have to stop and look at ourselves from an outer perspective. What do I mean by that? Just imagine yourself standing out of your body watching this person (you) interact. That could be anything from self-talk (how they treat themselves) to how they communicate (with others at home, work or socially).

Let us start with self-talk. Is this person (you) kind to themselves? Do they have self-respect, self-belief, self-esteem, self-loathing, self-harm (physically or emotionally)? I want you to make a list of the aforementioned items and add more of your own. I then want you to go through the first one on a separate piece of paper and create two lists – one for things that are good and a list of things that could be removed/changed in a positive way to enhance your life.

I then want you to go through the list and ask yourself what you could change now (within the next five days), at least one from each list, one that you could change in a fortnight, a month, three months and longer. Now you can add these changes to a calendar or diary. By creating steps that you can do each day to improve, you will find it easier and more achievable.

Once you have gone through one item go through and do the same for the others listed as well as the ones the ones you added to the list. If you do something daily, it does not have to be huge, take it at your own pace and aim to push yourself - you will find you become more positive, motivated, and energised!

For most the biggest challenge is realising they need to change. If you are already there great, you can make a start now. For those who think “I am fine, there is nothing wrong with me”, I hope that is true and over the years I have realised, we all have room for improvement and growth.